(Telegraph) As you reach your 60s and the heady promise of retirement, you might think it's time to take things slowly. While it is important to relax, whether by reading a book or doing a spot of gardening, you still need to make a conscious effort to keep your body fit and strong.
Forget the myths that sexagenarians need less sleep, that they shouldn't push themselves to do exercise, and that their sex drives are dormant. Your 60s are, in fact, a time to thrive – you and your partner have the house to yourselves, since your children have long since flown the nest, and, with retirement on the horizon, there are so many opportunities for things to do in your spare time.
To help you make the most of these, and to look after your body, we enlisted the help of medical experts to advise how you can achieve better sex, manage your stress, keep fit and get a good night's sleep in your sixties.
Sex
For some, the seventh decade of life can bring the start of a new chapter. “After divorce or death, people may find themselves dating again after being out of the game for a long time,” says Amanda Major, a sex therapist and head of clinical practice at Relate. “Meeting someone new can be a great joy, but don’t feel rushed, or pressurised into doing anything you don’t want to do.” She advises talking to trusted friends who can share their experiences of starting new relationships, and seeking information from reliable sources online.
Older people can be unaware of the importance of contraception, a factor that has been blamed for a sharp rise in STIs among this age group. Public Health England recently reported that gonorrhea among the over-65s is rising at nearly double the national average, with experts suggesting pensioners were becoming more promiscuous because of divorce and dating apps. “If you’re in a new partnership, don’t be afraid to ask about sexual history or any issues you might need to know about. And if you have the slightest worry - discharge, bleeding, lumps or bumps - see your GP.”
For men, erectile problems will become more common with age, and can also start as a result of health problems such as diabetes and enlarged prostate, and medications such as anti-hypertensive drugs. “There are things that can help, but also be kind to yourself and bear in mind that there are other ways to pleasure each other,” says Major. “Men talk about being less focused on erections at this stage, and sometimes they have to be,” adds Cynthia Graham, professor of sexual and reproductive health at the Centre for Sexual Health Research at the University of Southampton.
Sleep
It’s a myth that we need less sleep as we age, according to consultant neurologist and sleep physician, Dr Leschziner. “The reality is that they probably need just as much as younger adults, but they’re less good at achieving it,” he says.
“An important one to watch out for at this age is REM sleep behavior disorders, which tends to be something we see in older men,” says Dr Leschziner. This is where people start to act out their dreams at night (during REM or rapid-eye movement sleep, where normally the brain would keep us paralysed). “Often this can have a violent component, with people thrashing around and kicking their legs, risking injuring themselves and their partners,” he says. These are distinct from sleepwalking or night terrors (which occur in the deeper, non-dreaming stages of sleep) and tend to occur in the latter half of the night, because that’s when we have most of our REM sleep.
“People mustn’t just live with this, but should seek medical help,” says Dr Leschziner. “It can be treated with medication. We also know that it can sometimes be a precursor to other neurological disorders, including Parkinson’s and Lewy body dementia, showing up years before other symptoms.”
Sleep behaviour expert James Wilson says retirement can also trigger sleep problems. “For a lot of people, their job gives them their clock and without that daily routine, sleep can suffer,” he says, adding that you might actually need to be more strict about your habits now. “Things you might have done when you were working – whether it was watching the news right before bed, drinking alcohol or a coffee late in the day – without consequence might start to be more of a problem because you’re no longer as physically and mentally tired.
“Getting into the habit of late nights and lie-ins because you don’t have to get up for work, can also confuse the body clock – our bodies like consistency,” he adds.
Drugs for age-related problems – such as pain medication and PPIs for acid reflux - can also interfere with sleep, adds Dr Neil Stanley, an independent sleep researcher and author of the book How To Sleep Well. “Have a conversation with your GP or consultant if you’re on medication and not sleeping well, as there may be alternatives.”
Stress
“We tend to assume that the retirement years are relaxing, but it’s not that straightforward,” says Dr Chetna Kang, a consultant psychiatrist at the Nightingale Hospital, in London. Retirement ranks as the tenth most stressful of all life events, according to the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale, a tool developed by psychiatrists in the 1960s for measuring how stressed someone is likely to be and their risk of illness as a result.
“Retiring may be stressful because it can feel like our identity is being taken away from us and there can be a loss of purpose,” Dr Kang explains. The key, she says, is to have a plan. “I find that whether or not someone has made a plan based on what’s important to them now - whether it’s travelling, being there for the grandchildren, or even continuing to work on a more casual, part-time basis – determines whether these years are a very rewarding time or very stressful.”
Unfortunately, retirement may also collide with other life events that rank among the most stressful, such as serious illness, children leaving home, downsizing or moving house, the death of a family member or close friends, change of health or behaviour of a family member, or – most stressful of all - the death of a spouse. Learning a new skill can be a surprisingly effective tactic for coping with stressful situations.
“There is emerging evidence that if you pursue a new challenge and you achieve incremental mastery in that field then that actually helps you cope with the pressures in a different domain of your life,” explains neuroscientist Dr Storoni. It could be any new hobby, learning a new language, or taking up a physical challenge, such as a race or charity walk. “The key is that you are becoming better at something.”
Fitness
Try: Power walking, gardening, swimming
Health conditions such as high blood pressure, heart disease or a previous heart attack are more common at this time of life, and it’s natural to worry about exercising, says Matt Roberts, celebrity personal trainer and author of new book Younger, Fitter, Stronger: The Revolutionary 8-week Fitness Plan for Men.
“Take your doctor’s advice. What we do know is doing nothing makes you get worse, and exercise can help increase the strength of the heart after an attack.”
You may be offered an exercise ECG or stress test, involving walking on a treadmill or using an exercise bike while your heart rate is monitored, to allow your doctor to set some boundaries.
“This time of life is really all about keeping mobile and on your feet,’ says Roberts. “Keeping your cardiovascular system conditioned at this time is crucial, alongside building stability in the hips and lower back and mobility in the shoulders and knees, to help keep problems at bay.”
Moderate intensity cardiovascular work such as jogging, power walking, gardening, dancing or swimming a few times a week is important, he advises. “But you also need to do some interval training to condition the heart and lungs. So that could be walking fast up a relatively steep hill for 45 seconds and then strolling back down again, and repeating that six to eight times.”
