(Columbus Jewish News) - Clear communication and preparation are vital to avoiding estate planning drama, according to three Columbus-area attorneys.
Alan S. Acker, of-counsel attorney at Carlile, Patchen and Murphy LLP Attorneys at Law in Columbus, said in an email that most families have drama, which can increase after a loved one’s death. But there are ways to reduce drama among relatives regarding estate plans and issues that can arise therefrom, he added.
“There is drama in most families,” Acker noted. “Family relationships and dynamics often are complex.”
Acker stated a parent’s death can complicate the potential for drama.
“And the death of a parent sometimes can bring suppressed emotions to the surface,” Acker, whose 47-year career almost entirely has been in estate planning, said.
One way to attempt to curb or reduce drama, he suggested, is through clear communication.
“Communications between parents and (adult) children can help children understand their parents’ objectives and goals and help avoid drama,” Acker said.
Jane Higgins Marx, managing partner at Carlile Patchen and leader of its family wealth and estate planning practice group, said “communication is critical,” especially to inform family members that legal documents are in place and that their wishes should be followed.
“It’s enough to just bring clarity to the fact that attention has been given to the process, and, preferably, that the documents have been drafted with legal counsel,” Marx explained. “That way, we know they’re going to hold up and that they will clearly represent the wishes of the deceased.”
Discontent often relates to other family issues and not necessarily to the deceased’s wishes, Marx added.
“Grief is challenging, and grief is more challenging for some people than others, and is more challenging in some families than others, and can sometimes be the catalyst for dredging up old family drama,” she said.
Marx also noted working with an attorney to prepare an estate plan can help prevent any challenges to the deceased’s decision-making ability. She also said that even though, for some people, it is difficult to acknowledge mortality, “the greatest gift we can give to our loved ones is a clear and concise estate plan.”
In addition to being able to communicate with relatives, attorney Seth D. Preisler, a partner at Chodosh and Chodosh Attorneys at Law in Bexley, explained it is important to be organized, to know where deceased loved ones’ assets might be located and to try to use a business-like approach with family members, in order to reach amicable agreements when a loved one passes away.
“People are understandably emotionally invested, and if you add lifelong preexisting family drama, those feelings are compounded when dealing with death, which already is extremely stressful, and the deceased may have been the peacemaker that held everyone together,” Preisler noted.
Preisler said people typically hire him to draft, review or change their end-of-life documents. He defines estate planning as, “planning on the disposition or disbursement of your assets, of your money and (belongings) when you pass away.” He stated it also is important to have a plan in place, to make it easier for loved ones or estate administrators, who must take care of things.
But without an estate plan, resolving conflicts regarding a deceased family member’s assets or belongings, including ones with sentimental value, could be more complicated and more expensive, Preisler added.
“A lot of that frustration, confusion, expense and time can be avoided with properly planning while you’re still alive,” he said, noting attorneys – not bickering family members – generally financially benefit more from probate and estate law conflicts.
By Lillie Askari
February 19, 2025
